My First Tour

Photograph by Andy Caulfield/Getty Images

I was reminiscing the other day about my first tour ever.The company was spilt up into two, and my half went to Brazil. I was elated. I went through my closet and busted out all things Brazil. Well, so I thought anyway. I may have invented  ten new ways of wearing a sarong on that trip!

My love for Brazil started on the plane ride over. I was sitting with a good friend of mine who asked the stewardess for a soda. However, the stewardess informed him that they didn’t carry the particularly brand he requested and instead shoved a Guarana in his hand before he could trouble her with a second request. Although, I wasn't a soda drinker I decided to go with the funny sounding drink, to avoid confusion. I loved it, and from there on out it was all I could drink. I found out later how much caffeine is in this stuff. It's a good thing it was a short tour.

On our Brazilian tour we covered Rio de Janeiro, Sao Paolo and Salvador. Of these three, my ultimate favorite was Salvador, Bahia. I felt so comfortable and at home in this place. I wanted to dive into this culture and learn everything about it. On the tour bus, on the way to our hotel, our guide warned us to be careful and that the Brazilians will be very excited to see us, especially those with fair skin. I thought, “oh well,” the race factor seems to follow you wherever you go. However, despite this gratuitous and overdone warning, I felt embraced by the people, the culture and the place.

There was one night in particular, when we went to grab some food after a show. We randomly turned down a street filled with wonderful sounds.There were young boys dancing down the street beating on drums strapped to their necks. They were playing their hearts out and dancing rhythmically and beautifully all the while. I am sure there were other instruments, but the image of these young kids dancing with these drums will forever stay embedded in my mind. I turned to one dinner guest, apparently a local, and asked them what was happening. If I remember correctly, they informed us that every Tuesday after church, the kids pour into the streets in celebration. All I could remember thinking was, that is exactly how I want to celebrate after church. The air seemed to be filled with music, joy, the aroma of flavorful dishes and oh yes... dancing!


Another one of my favorite moments from this trip, was an invitation we had to a disco following one of our shows. I thought we might just hang out for a minute and return back to the hotel, since most of us were exhausted. Well, that was until I knew exactly what I was in for. What was interesting about this club  was that it seemed super casual. You didn't see anyone trying to bust out their weekends’ finest. Most were in t-shirt and jeans, and they were covered in sweat. Not because of the heat of the room, but because they were dancing like there was no tomorrow. I recall this one group,  all gathered   in the middle of the dance floor, performing this well coordinated and finely tuned line dance that everyone seemed to know.  A few brave dancers from my group jumped right into join the dance. I watched from the sidelines for a moment and then decided to join in on the fun. However, the Brazilians kept the dance going for what seemed to be an eternity, dancing feverishly while smiling ear to ear. Eventually, my little group began to drop out one by one. The native energy was amazing, and the love of dancing was contagious. This was the only disco I went to during my stay in Brazil. However, the energy, passion and joy I experienced during this one moment will stay with me forever. It could have been my young, naive eyes that only saw what I wanted to see, but to me this particular disco was all about celebrating music, dancing and life.

I left Brazil with fond memories of good music, rich culture, delicious food, Guarana, the amazingly beautiful art of Capoiera, the best papaya I ever ate, beautiful people and of course the joy of dancing as a celebration of life.

Obrigado Brazil!



LET'S CELEBRATE!

This month is Black History Month, and in honor of that I think we should all celebrate our individual beauty the way the Brazilians celebrate life. I have chosen a couple of sites that I think help us to do just that!

I have recently stumbled upon The Moptop Maven and found it fitting for the celebration. I love the way this young woman celebrates her natural hair, beauty and uniqueness.

Ebony Glam claims to be "the ultimate online destination for woman of color to discover the newest and best in fashion, beauty, shopping, and emerging trends from the runways to the streets." Check it out if your already surfing sites like Essence.com

I just thought this shirt was the cutest thing when I saw it, and it led me to the site Bon Bon Vie which also sells the same in a baby onesie! How cute is that? If your a Chi Town kid you'll love their Rep Chi Tees.

Bon Bon Vie

There are far more important things worth sharing this month, but this is just a continuation on the theme of celebrating life, beauty and our individuality.  Oh, and having a little fun while we are at it.

Have you stumbled across anything worth sharing? Let's here about it!



 

Embracing our individualities

I remember the excitement surrounding this Vogue issue, and being in Italy when it hit the stands. I remember going through each page so carefully and wondering why there was only a section in the middle of the magazine dedicated to black models. I guess I was expecting every page, from beginning to end, to be about black beauty.  Well this was not the case, but nevertheless I was happy there was at least an awareness that black beauty needed to be acknowledged. It made me think of a time when I was a young dancer in New York City Ballet and I had arrived at the point where I was so tired of seeing images of beauty other than my own. I wanted to feel beautiful and celebrated for who I was an African American woman. I wanted to feel free to celebrate my identity, not suffocated by the restricted view of beauty that was fed to me since childhood. A view that put a premium on alabaster skin, long straight hair, fine features and stick thin physiques. I wanted to wear my hair natural and embrace my own, unique identity. I remember being very angry at times at the images being forced upon me, images which I felt boxed me in and closed me off. I knew this wasn't a healthy attitude and anger seems to contaminate every good endeavor. It was then that I truly understood the need for some to take a trip back to their ancestral homes, where they yearn to find unity and belonging. I too wanted a reminder of why I should hold my head high and not be ashamed of my differences. So I trained harder and focused harder. I wanted beauty and strength to resonate through every ounce of me.


NUTCRACKER TALES

As the Nutcracker season is behind us now, I remember reading a review from a random audience member of one Nutcracker performance. In that particular show I danced the solo of Arabian. For this character, the women all wear a long gold scarf on there heads and some sort of body jewelry. It's individual but most place rhinestones on their foreheads and maybe one their belly. I remember this individual making a reference to me looking like "Little Kim," with my blonde wig and flashy jewelry. At the time I was so disturbed by this comment. I didn't want to focus on such an ignorant comment, but it was hard not to. Why did I have to be referred to as "Little Kim" when I wore the same thing as everyone else?  I even thought about not adding the traditional rhinestones for the next show. In the end, I continued doing what I normally did and just brushed it off. Not too long after that, I received a not from a very young dancer telling me I was their favorite Arabian. I was probably not her only favorite but it was the a small reminder that I was appreciated. I did so badly want to write this woman and explain to her that I wasn't wearing anything different from the others, but what would be the gain? There are some things that just aren't worth it, and in the end all you can do is smile.

It most certainly is no easy battle, trying to feel beautiful in a world where the image of beauty has always been so monolithic. It definitely takes a certain will and determination to overcome such adversities, but we are resilient. So as we keep breaking the molds and pushing barriers, I look forward to opening more magazines, turning on the television and most certainly looking at more ballet rosters and finding many women of color holding their own and feeling beautiful.

STARTING YOUNG

While browsing online I came across this website http://www.brownstonebuddies.com/, which seemed relevant to this discussion. I loved what the creators have to say about their product, and now that I am a mother myself, this is how I want my daughter to see the world. A diverse and beautiful canvas.

The start of a journey

I have thought about doing a blog for some time now. I knew what I wanted the concept of the blog to be, but could never quite figure out how and where to start. In the end I decided I would just dive in head first.

It seems as though that throughout my career people have been curious to know what I experienced as a black woman in ballet. If it wasn't the reporters, that seem to show up every other Black History Month, it was inquisitive students or mothers wanting to know what they are getting themselves or there child into. Often times, from my mouth to print, information would become misconstrued ( either because something was taken out of context or my full response was not printed). I wanted a place where I could answer questions and share my own story unedited.

This blog is intended for individuals who struggle with being a minority in the dance world ( especially the ballet world). I want to be able to share my experience with you, and the little knowledge that I learned along the way. Although, it is important to remember that each has his own journey and no two stories are the same, we can share our experiences to find the strength to persevere.

The title of the blog sprouted from this article in the New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/06/arts/dance/06kour.html, that raised the question of why there are so few women of color in ballet.